Me: Are you gonna buy your dad the Young Vein's new album? Since he liked Pretty.Odd so much.
ShuEe: No, I'm gonna buy it for myself.
Me: Why? You don't like music like that. Country and happy music.
ShuEe: I just want to support RyanRoss! Unlike people like you who wish him dead.
Me: I do not wish him dead! I just think... Panic! shouldn't have split up. I mean... they could've been the next great band in rock. They got seven nominations for the debut album. Debut album! Who does that?
ShuEe: Uh... Linkin Park?
Me: Exactly! That's why Linkin Park is slated to be the next great rock band, like U2 and Green Day or whatever. That could've been Panic! in a few years! But no... someone decides to be happy.
I just took a personality test that I got from Tric's blog cuz I was bored and here are the results! I uh... well, some things hit pretty close to home. But I won't mention which one... because, well...
If you're too lazy to read the whole thing, just read the coloured lines. :)
Is it that you are working - or even playing - too hard? Because it would seem that you are experiencing a great deal of pent-up emotion at this time which could possibly take effect and lead to irrational behaviour.
Being a somewhat gentle, emotional and sensitive person, you are at this time experiencing a considerable amount of tension. What you really need is someone who can be close to you and to listen to what you have to say.
Enough is enough - but the problems never seem to stop. They never stop. You feel, and maybe you are right, that the problems seem to go on and on and you have indeed had more than your fair share of trials and tribulations. But to give you credit - you bounce back time and time again - you stick to your beliefs because deep down you have that inner knowledge, that 'belief' system that in the end, everything will turn out OK - and you are right -it will!
For whatever the reason, you find it extremely difficult to sustain relationships - that is to sustain them in the manner that you would wish. You are a very gentle sort of person, full of feeling, sensitivity and susceptible to love and affection, looking and longing for a partner with whom you can enjoy 'All things bright and beautiful' - someone with whom you can seek out the more esoteric things of life. But up to now this person has only existed in your imagination. You are very choosy, appreciative, refined and extremely artistic in temperament and it is your hope to seek others who will allow you to form and express your own taste and judgement and who at the same time may assist you in your intellectual or artistic growth.
Perhaps in the distant past your trust and belief in your fellow man was misplaced and you can now no longer accept anything as it appears to be. You are untrusting and you insist that before you commit yourself to anything, you examine the pro's and con's with critical discrimination. The situation has now progressed to one where you are apt to disagree yet not make any form of constructive criticism to every suggestion that may be put to you. As a result you are in limbo. There is a saying that goes 'The past does not equal tomorrow'. Think about it - and let go.
Random thing of the day: The thing with these personality tests is... the accurate ones tell you things you rather not know about yourself, because you know it's true, and that's bad.
This is a total fangirl/I-kiss-the-ground-they-walk-on tribute to my favourite band.
All my life, I am only truly obsessed with two bands. One is The All-American Rejects, the other is Panic! At The Disco.
Why? Well, if you honestly asked me... I would say I wasn't much of a crazy fan at first. It was more of... 'Oh, so they were the ones who sang Dirty Little Secret.' than anything. And then... one day, I was hanging out at Joey's old apartment before leaving for a concert. I was randomly flipping through channels and I stopped on MTV/Channel[V]/Hitz.tv. The music video of 'Move Along' was playing... that was the first time I saw that music video. Interested, I asked Joey... 'Eh, who's that guy?' and guess what? In typical Joey-style, she refused to tell me! Until her sister walked by and said, 'What... who's she referring to? Nick is it?'
Taa-daa! I found out the guitarist's name. And that was when I truly became a hardcore fan. Not because Nick is extremely hot in that video (which he is, by the way, I'm not saying he's not) but if anyone's an old AAR fan, he/she would know that before AAR's newly revamped official website, AAR used to answer questions by the fans. They had a whole 'Ask The Band' questions and the questions are literally the randomest questions! Like... 'Do you prefer your orange juice with pulp or without pulp?'. They also frequently updated their blogs with random pictures of their day to day... one post that stuck in my head is the one where they ordered the largest size pizza and it was effing HUGE. They spent days finishing it. And that is exactly the reason why I love them. They're honestly so funny and and random. Nick is always sarcastic (which for some reason, I totally dig... nah, I'm just a big fan of sarcasm). Tyson is always random. Mike is always the sweetest. Chris is always the awesomest. I am honestly still laughing at how selamba he was at the hotel.
I could spend my entire night on allamericanrejects.com and just laugh my ass off. That's where I found out there's more to AAR than just songs like Dirty Little Secret and Move Along. That album may have helped propelled them to huge fame, but I prefer the first album because it's more... raw and real. Not saying that the Move Along album isn't good. It just bugs me when people recognise AAR by just that few songs.
The songs that left the most impact on me are usually the unknown ones. During one of the hardest moments of my life, when I truly felt down and ready to give it all up... Straitjacket Feeling helped me through it all. I could come home from school just ready for the meltdown to hit, but I would play the album over and over again and it helped. It helped in so many ways that I could never imagine. It was the first time in my life that I felt as if music played a big role in helping me move forward. In my very emotional teenage years, songs like 'Swing Swing', 'Straitjacket Feeling', 'Time Stands Still', 'My Paperheart' became my anthem. I would listen to the album everyday without fail.
When I had this huge crush on a guy, 'My Paperheart' rings in the background.Please just don't play with me, my paperheart will bleed... this wait for destiny won't do, be with me please I beseech you.
When best friends become your worst frenemies, 'Swing Swing' plays. Did you think that I would cry on the phone? Do you know what it feels like being alone? I'll find someone new... I remember we would change the lyrics to "Swing swing swing from the tangles of my heart, it's crushed by a former friend" (we changed 'love' to 'friend').
When the best friendship eventually faded over the course of time, 'The Last Song' helped. Somehow I knew it that it would be this way. Somehow I knew that it would slowly fade. My mind is just a crutch and I still hope that you will miss me when I'm gone...
And the lines that truly, truly worked magic?'Yesterday was hell, but today I'm fine without you, runaway this time without you, and all the things you put me through, I'm holding on by letting go of you...'
Okay, enough of lyrics-posting.
So imagine the happiness that could be running through me when I stood there, in the middle of the crowd, I looked up at the stage and there they were. My idols, playing the songs I love so much and they don't have a single clue how big of an impact their music has on me. It's heartbreaking in a sense of way.
I was just telling ShuEe the other day how I wished I didn't like them so badly. How I could be like other people I see. Then it wouldn't hurt so much. But then again, I decided that I'd deal with all the hurt and pain and frustration as long as I get to enjoy the music. After all, hurt/pain/frustration only comes when I see them hanging out with other luckier bitches instead of me. LOL.
But I should count my blessings. I got to talk with them on the radio the other day (and it was even aired)... I got to take a picture with them... I got to go to their concert... damn, the only thing that can beat this is when I get to go on tour with them. I don't mind fetching their coffee. :P
And if you're wondering what I talked with them about the other day, I was asking them about the 'I Wanna' music video. All my friends said I sounded orgasmic... but err.... well, I don't want their ears to bleed out from the screaming. No matter how crazy I am, I can never bring myself to scream "AHHHH I LOVE YOU" in front of them... because, well, that's just weird and embarrassing. Not to mention annoying to other people around them.
Well, enough of my fangirl ramblings... here's the pictures, as promised.
At the press conference... I didn't take this. Credits to Shakira.
My picture with Nick and ShuEe... sorry Nick looks that way. He mumbled "I'm just so freaking tired" and then SNAP!
Hahaha... can you see how eager Chris is to get back to his conversation with the other guy (off camera)?
I don't think Tyson ever runs out of energy... this is the autograph session I missed. Credits to my cousin.
I am totally in love with this picture. The rainbow suspenders and the fedora!
Tyson at the concert, with his Native American headgear. Credits to ewinee.com, whoever you are.
Random thing of the day: To any crazy potential John-Lennon-killer-wannabe, you shoot them, I shoot you.
Please just don't play with me, my paperheart will bleed
Yesterday was hands down the craziest day in my life. No doubt, a lot of things didn't go according to plan, but still! A lot of other unexpected things happened that made up for it.
GRADUATION: I always thought I'd be the first one out of the exit shouting "See ya, suckers!" because well... I'm not exactly a school-type of person. Especially not my school, where we're all pressured to study like robots. My five years in that school didn't actually give me the sweetest memories either. But as I sat in that ballroom, looking at the media presentation, I felt the slightest sadness about leaving school. The feeling quickly went away when I reminded myself that next up was COLLEGE. The thing I've been waiting mywhole lifefor. I'm SO prepared for college. But anyway, I didn't stay the entire graduation ceremony because well... I was rushing to go to AAR's autograph session.
AAR AUTOGRAPH SESSION: Let me get this out first. I was 15mins away from Pavillion when my cousin called and say AAR left already. It started first of all because everything was late. No matter how badly ShuEe sped to Sunway, how the taxi driver sped to Pavillion, it was all too late. I was too crushed to even cry. But then again, things always happen for a reason. Sounds cliche, but it's true! Desperation led me to ask ShuEe, "Hey, you wanna go to Nikko Hotel?"
NIKKO HOTEL: We arrived. Thankfully we both look well-dressed enough for Nikko... hence, we do not look like stalker fans. I trained ShuEe's "bitch face" so that well... the staff won't throw us out if we looked as if we belonged there. I even had a whole cover up saying that I was waiting for my mom for lunch appointment. But no one asked, so I said nothing. Just to be safe, we sat down at the deli in the lobby and ShuEe ordered a cake. It was the cheapest thing, RM10. Soon, my cousin joined us from Pavillion and he showed us his autographed album, much to my envy. We sat strategically to ensure that we could see AAR when they arrive. ShuEe kept an eye on the main entrance, my cousin was watching the side entrance, I watched the stairs. Before that, we met this girl who got Meet and Greet passes, so we asked her a favour to get our album signed. It was a HUGE mistake because if we hadn't done that, our albums will be signed by Nick, Chris and Mike. Why, you ask. BECAUSE WE MET THEM.
YES! There we were... talking about favouritism among children and grandchilren when I suddenly stopped dead. NICK was walking right in front of me. I said "My God" and then froze to the spot. Nick sorta looked at us with a weird look and then he was gone. ShuEe was frantic about chasing him, but we didn't want to blow out cover so... no, we let him go. And then a few minutes later, Mike and Chris walked by. All I did was stare. I didn't know what for or why I was waiting. But again, we did nothing, except gasp and get excited to just KNOW that they're in the same building. About ten minutes later, Tyson walked by. And no need to bother chasing, he had like five bodyguards around him. What? Nick, Mike and Chris aren't precious enough? Wonder why Ty was the only one with bodyguards.
We went back to normal, trying to make the cake last. Finally, Mike and Chris came down with a guy and they starting chatting at the lobby. WHY, I don't know. But they were just THERE, at the lobby, chatting. We quickly paid for the stupid cake and asked if we could take a picture with them. Chris was the funniest because he was talking to a guy when we asked if we could have a picture. And when he was posing in the picture, he was STILL talking to the guy. I even had a very short conversation with Mike. Basically Mike asked if we were going to the concert later that night and I was like "Yeah, of course!" and then I babbled some fangirl stuff like "Oh my god, I'm so glad you guys finally came here! I've been a fan since 'Swing Swing'!" to which Mike's dreamy chocolate eyes popped and said "Oh really? Awesome!"
So there we were... on cloud nine. We left the hotel and then remembered our album was still with the Meet and Greet girl (her name is Shakira, yes, like the singer). We went back in and it was the BEST DECISION. A bunch of photographers were rushing past us saying "They're there!". I was thinking, "Meh, we already took a picture." But then ShuEe wanted more pictures, and that was when she saw him. Nick. "Oh my god, Nick. Nick. Nick!" she shouted at me and we scrambled down to get a picture.
Nick was truly how I imagined. Sarcastic and funny. For some reason, he was walking in circles, doing nothing in particular. My poor cousin was trying to ask Nick for a picture, which was hard, because Nick was tall and he was walking in circles. Just as my cousin was going to tap Nick's shoulder, he suddenly turned around and said, "YO!". I swear you should've seen the look on my cousin's face. He was so surprised that Nick suddenly turned around and said "YO!". So we got our pictures. It was all I can do to mumble something un-understandable stuff to Nick. I was too starstuck. All my rehearsed lines from last night went out the window.
We could've asked for their autographs, but since the album wasn't with me, we couldn't. :( But it doesn't matter. Pictures are more precious. I'll post up the pics as soon as I get them!
With nothing to do, we hung around the hotel near the press conference area. There was once where I even got the chance to enter the press conference area. But people were staring at me and I promised the guy outside I'll be out as soon as I passed something to Shakira (yeah, she got to attend the press conference too!). Finally, I saw a bunch of relieved looking crew members as they ushered an almost-late Tyson into the press conference room. Tyson reminds me of Jack Sparrow with the blur but I-know-what-I'm-doing kinda look on his face.
I sat outside the press conference area with this really awesome girl, who was waiting for Shakira. We talked and by that time, AAR walking in front of us unfazed us. We were like, "Oh look, there they are." and then continued our conversation.
THE CONCERT We left for Sunway around 3.30. The plan was to leave Sunway at 4. But due to some unavoidable reasons, we were delayed until 5. We got caught in traffic jam but managed to get to the concert at 6. By that time, the line was already soooooooo long. By the time we entered the concert area, we were far behind, nowhere near the front row. The concert place was one of the most disgusting place I've ever been at. Digi gave people those ridiculous yellow inflatable sticks that serves no purpose except to block everyone's view. It reminds me of other cheapo concerts like "Pesta Malam Indonesia" or some Chinese-stars concert. Even the audience consisted of the people you least expect at concerts. Old people (I don't mean old as in 30 something, but old like WHITE HAIR) and small children. WTF right? Smokers were all around, rubbish all over the floor, little todlers with their parents munching on pizzas. And the concert haven't even START. My VIP pass was as useless as shit because well... apparently, the VIP gates were open to public after a while. I'm like... WTF? If they want to do that, they should at least let VIPs enter first. But no, we were forced to wait in line with other "commoners" in Michelle's words. I was sorely disappointed. The concert was SUPER UNORGANIZED and super disgusting. I now have more appreciation for MTV organised concerts. First act was Disagree, and I would've enjoyed the show, but I was too pissed to enjoy anything. At that moment, I almost felt like going home. Even One Buck Short and Pop Shuvit's performance failed to cheer me up.
It took SOOoooo long for AAR to come out. Mich, Tric, ShuEe and I were guessing what the first song would be to entertain ourself. I guessed Move Along and I was RIGHT. The moment AAR came out... the crowd was ROCKING. All my anger/frustrations melt away and I was instantly reminded what all the trouble and money wasted was for. At the end of the day, all that mattered was AAR and their music and how I was glad to get a chance to enjoy their music live, in person. I sang along to every song, Tyson kept the crowd entertained with his Native American costume and funny conversations with the crowd. I think AAR performed around 12 songs. I was SO happy that they performed quite a number of songs from their previous albums. So-called fans, buzz off suckers! All they know is Gives You Hell and I Wanna. Ugh. Such a waste of space. I finally got to see 'My Paperheart' live. My Paperheart has been and always will be one of my favourite AAR song. Don't ask why. Just the line "So bottle up old love, and throw it out to sea" makes every heartache of mine okay. They also performed "The Last Song" which was unexpected but good nonetheless, since it was our graduation day. What a perfect song for graduation. And of course, 'Swing Swing' was awesome. The intro for 'It Ends Tonight' lasted for two minutes, with Tyson doing some weird interpretive dance. The piano intro was awesome, could've been a song by itself. Nice job, Toad! Best singalong of the night? Well... what else? Gives You Hell! Tyson literally stopped singing for a while just the let the whole crowd sing. And boy did we not disappoint. Tyson dedicated that song to Moots from Pop Shuvit... which isn't a good song to dedicate, but it's the thought that counts. :P
CONCLUSION: See? Thing happen for a reason. If I made it to the autograph session, I wouldn't be so desperate to go to Nikko Hotel. Then I wouldn't have met Nick, Mike and Chris. I wouldn't get to take a picture with them. It was sad that we're late to the concert, but it was fun because Mich, Tric and ShuEe had their arms around each other and danced to every single song. If we were at front row, we would be too busy bashing people's face off. Instead? We got friends and AAR at the same time. What more could we ask for? :)
Pictures ASAP! Promise!
Quotes of the day: (Gonna transcript up some of Tyson's words from last night.)
Can I tell you something dirty? I've been keeping it so long to myself. I just wanna know if I can tell you something dirty.
Happy Halloween where we're from, by the way. That's why I'm dressed up like this authentic Native American tonight. Chris, give me a little bit of the war drum beat.
You are the sexiest crowd ever.
Oh my god, you guys are incredible! We just got off a tour in Europe. And I'll tell you what, I wish we would've came here first, because this is just incredible.
[reading an audience's banner] 'Will you have pancakes with us after the show?' I'll bring the syrup and butter. How sweet. I've never been offered continental breakfast via the audience. Not even at home. Not even my mama would write that for me.
It's electric tonight, baby!
Oh wait, there's a witch. I see a... wizard, sorry sir. It's a wizard, not a witch.
Turn on the lights, let me see these people.
Hold up your little yellow things, I wanna see those wiggles. What the hell are those supposed to be? Are those life preservers? [in reference to that stupid yellow Digi balloon sticks]
How many of you people got our record 'When The World Comes Down'? [crowd cheers] You are all liars... [laughs] How many of you people stole 'When The World Comes Down'? It's alright baby, you can buy it you can steal it, as long as you feel it and mill it, know what I'm saying?
This song's about having someone in your life that you love and then catching you when the world comes down. It's 'Mona Lisa'.
You guys are so fucking crazy. (Hahaha... it was the last song, and I guess you can't stop Ty from cursing for too long. Best part? He didn't apologise. Haha! Go Tyson!
... especially if they're by Panic! At The Disco. :)
Here's another one. A awesome song by the Smashing Pumpkins called "Tonight Tonight". The song makes me feel... like I want to fly. No, scratch that. The song makes me feel I can fly and reach the moon. Salutes to P!ATD for covering such an awesome song.
And another just for fun... Maneater by Nelly Furtado. A fun song.
Lyrics of the day:Time is never time at all... You can never ever leave without leaving a piece of youth... And our lives are forever changed... We will never be the same... The more you change the less you feel. (Tonight, Tonight by Smashing Pumpkins)
I should've deleted this video. Tric, from now on, I'm banning your camera from entering the room every time we play a new song. The songs not complete yet!! Gah.
Ok. Have fun laughing at how awkward I look.
Random thing of the day: Don't ever watch movies you're unsure of with your parents. There might be awkward moments.
Always a tearjerker when it comes to Grey's Anatomy.
To all of you clueless people... here's the drill:
Izzie is Alex's wife. She had a really aggressive brain surgery, and lose her short term memory retainer... means she can't remember a thing that happened in the last five minutes. But she can remember long term memory stuff...
George's nickname is 007. They called him that after he killed some patient... by his lack of skills, I suppose. Or something. I forgot. 007 means 'licensed to kill'.
Prior to her surgery, Izzie signed a DNR form. It stands for Do Not Resuscitate. In the case of her body suddenly crashing or something happening... she doesn't want the doctors to save her. Meaning, she wants to just die. She doesn't want to be hooked on some machine. Alex, of course, opposed strongly to it... but respected her wishes anyway.
So now that that's all done... my question is?
Did you tell the person you love that you love him/her today?
Random thing of the day: Please excuse me while I look for the person I love... I'm sure he's out there, somewhere.
When will the government and certain political parties realise that concerts are exactly what it is... CONCERTS. Not some secret propaganda to pollute our minds... they're not trying to convert us or shake our "Asian values" (if there is such a thing, how can you judge someone's morale by race?).
It's about the MUSIC.
MUSIC fans want to see the artistes perform MUSIC. Not shake their bellies or bare their flesh.
Thought of the day: 'Performers are also barred from swearing, hugging or kissing audience members; and in the case of rock bands, jumping, shouting and throwing objects on stage or at the audience.' Er... now remind me the point of going to a live show? To hear a tape recorder play the album?
I went to dinner yesterday at a restaurant called High Tide with my mom and her friend. It was... quite an experience, to say the least. I knew it was going to be one of those fancy restaurants that my mother sometimes takes us to... but I seriously had no idea.
My rule of the thumb when dressing for events is to look at what my mom is wearing. Last night she wore a dress, with make-up on (a rare thing, in her case) and she was carrying her Swarovski Crystal handbag. So it basically means one thing: dress to the nines.
But then again, I saw what my sister was wearing (a weird looking sleeveless purple top and mini denim skirt) and it meant one thing: casual. So I was like... errrr???
But anyway. I went with a dress (I only have a choice of three dresses when it comes to formal dinners, sad right?) with heels. My limited wardrobe doesn't really leave me with much options.
Still, I was worried I was overdressed. Hello? Me? In a dress? Overdressed.
But we arrived at the restaurant (I had to suppress a groan because it was seafood) and even the usher was in suit fancier than I've ever seen my brother or father wearing. Phew!
It was one of those restaurants where they didn't have a drinks menu because they simply expect you to know your wine before ordering. Well... the only thing I know about wines is there's white wine and red wine. So, no wine for me. And you can't simply say "Plain water" because then you'd have to pick "Normal or sparkling?". At least I know the difference between normal water and sparkling water. But I went with pink guava juice because... sparkling or no sparkling, I don't like water.
The food was surprisingly good for my expectation of seafood. I was expecting to gag at everything, but I didn't. Of course, the tiny portion and exorbitant prices didn't really help with things, but hey, what did you expect? I couldn't understand half the things in the menu... sure, I can recognise words like "salmon" "dover" "oyster" etc... but then they have that little description below... oh, headache. I didn't even know whether my salmon is grilled, steamed, raw, etc. But I went with the universal sentence, "How's the salmon?". Found out it was raw... but it's the only fish I can recognise from the menu, so I went with it anyway.
Next up: bread. I thought bread would be an easy topic but NO. The waitress came up to me and shove a basketful of bread towards me. "I have three types of bread..." it was a choice between wholemeal and two other types of bread I didn't know existed. And the bread wasn't soft... so I had to bite with my teeth (instead of peeling it gracefully piece by piece) and I looked like some cavemen. But whatever, the butter was yummy... homemade butter. I felt like stealing it back home.
From then on... everything was fun and good. I liked my salmon. I especially liked the caviar despite my mother trying to scare me telling me it's frog's egg. I know it's fish egg, I'm just not sure which fish. I had souffle for desert and I sorta went to heaven for a moment before coming back to earth. Then they gave us complimentary chocolate... which was so very good... too bad one person can only take one. Haha.
Somehow vodka was brought into the conversation by the manager... I was trying my chance of finally getting a taste of vodka, but no luck. :( Next year then.
The manager was a very funny French woman... She saw us staring at the kitchen where all the chefs were busy cooking. And she said, "Don't tell them... but we can supply peanuts for you to throw at them... and they will catch it."
Like monkeys. Haha. Nah... I was too busy watching the European chef having his Gordon Ramsay moment. "What are you waiting for?!"
Then she suddenly talked about the tv show Prison Break. When my mother mentioned that she didn't know about it... the manager was like...
Manager: Oh you should watch it. He's gorgeous. Gorgeous. Me: Yeah... too bad his gay. Manager: Shh! Don't tell me. A girl needs to have a dream. Me: I think he's gay... he has a boyfriend or something... (vaguely recalling someone telling me that) Manager: Now I can't watch the programme anymore. I need to find a new programme. Me: Supernatural. Manager: *excited* Which one do you like? Me: The older brother... Manager: Oh... he's a bit too macho. I like the younger one. Me: Nah... he's so sissy. Manager: Yeah... but the older brother is too macho. A guy needs to be a little sensitive... Me: Too sensitive... later he turns gay.
The manager refused to talk to me anymore... because I keep talking about hot men being gay. She'd rather not know.
It was a fun dinner, all in all. I'd do it again. :)
Quote of the day: "All the hot men in the world... they're either taken, or they're gay." -my sister.
I really, really, really like this movie. It's almost like a goodbye movie for rock and roll... Plus, Kate Hudson plays the role of Penny Lane really well...
One of my fav scenes from the movie is the part when William turns to Penny and says "I have to go home..." because he promised his mom he'd be home for his graduation and all (he's only fifteen, hello) and then Penny looks at him and says "You are home." Pretty awesome. A song starts playing in the tour bus, and everyone starts singing along. Doncha just love sing-alongs? Especially for those heartfelt songs... hmmm...
Here's another one of my fav scene... where Penny Lane dances as the guy announces the death of rock and roll. Watch it!
Quote of the day:"They will ruin rock and roll and strangle everything we love about it..."(sometimes I wish I was born in the era of hippies and rock and roll... the things I would do to be able to be at Woodstock).
... I refresh the Twitter page every few minutes to check for updates. Sigh.
Quote of the day: "It's so damn sweet when anybody... makes you feel... for once... (imagine) you." E.E. Cummings. (This is so true... especially when it comes to friends. If you can't be yourself with your friends, they're not your friends.)
The new video is awesome and pure GENIUS! Especially the clever use of phones. Yea, it does feel as if they're advertising something... but anyway! The boys are super cute and OHJUSTWATCHITALREADY!
PS, sorry... the person disabled the embedding request so I can't put it here for you lazy buggers.
Random thing of the day: Haha... today I took a personality test... and it was accurate and consistent (yes, I took a few). Most of the results say I'm a spontaneous person who's likes to jump into things without hesitation. Apparently, I'm also an 'I don't give a damn' person. And in relationships, I make the guy happy with my humour... and I am also patient (really?). I could've spent the entire time studying... but I didn't.
... ouch for the poor girl. Yay to Nick because that girl annoys me.
Quote of the day:"I don't get why people spend years researching dinosaurs. It's not like they can bring it back to life. Even if they can, why would they want to? Dinosaurs eat humans." -Yours truly.
Admit it. You've done it before. Probably a million times. And you got so good at doing it, it almost doesn't feel like you're lying. But you are. No matter how you try to convince yourself.
"I'm going to (insert friend's name here)'s house to study, okay?"
A bunch of my friends and I were at mamak yesterday. And, like old times, we were really loud. A lot of drama was involved. Awkward and trying to hide from ex-boyfriends (Mich). Subtly trying to point out a guy to another friend (me). Too bimbo to understand the art of being subtle (Jnel). Trying to find the best angle to stare at your crush (coughMaevincough). Trying to stop laughing because you need to use the toilet but cannot stand to use the dirty toilet (ZY).
It took me back to years ago when I used to hang out at mamak all the time before tuition. It was like a party every night. Nowadays, I wake up 15 minutes before class starts and scramble to get ready and arrive there right when lesson begins.
So after mamak, Shu Ee Mich and I went for a stroll at old JJ. And then we went back to my house. And... *gasp* we actually studied. Yes. We did. We had a loooong discussion about History. Once in a while, I chime in some random interesting facts about the stories from the Forbidden City that I read from this book... And Shu Ee talks about Anne/Katherine Boleyn.
They stayed the night and boy did I finally realise how hard it is to wake them both up. Honestly. 3 handphones, 3 alarms. But I had to handle three snooze buttons. I can't believe I woke up faster than the owner of the phones. LOL. I guess I'm like that in a way.
Now I can list insoluble/soluble salts and name all the four wars that took place between Makkah and Madinah. Yes. Four wars.
Thought of the day: What we find may not necessarily be what we set out to look for.
You're probably bored listening to me agonising about AAR's concert but screw it. I want to look back ten years from now and say "Wow, my life used to be really crappy. Thank god things changed."
Either that or.. "Wow, my life was crappy. IT STILL IS."
So new concert date! 31st October... Halloween Day... my school's graduation ceremony... 18 days to SPM. FML.
Moving on. I'm realllyyy freaked out now. Somedays I'm really hyped out about studying, I pour 110% into studying, I stow my phone in some cabinet so that I won't be tempted to text someone out of boredom. And I do really really well in that exam. Other days, not so good. My mind is easily distracted. I go online, stalk celeb's Twitter/blogs/official website. A few hours before the exam, I flip a few pages and rely heavily on tips to make it through the exam. And when the results come out... I don't do as badly as I expected, but it's not as good as I wanted also.
So here's the thing. Yes. I've heard the line a million times. "If you don't study, but still manage to get around 60-70 marks... imagine if you DO study."
Problem is... I can't. I'm not the least bit interested in Bio and Physics and Add Maths. Every time I meet people, and they ask me about school, I say the same thing. "Joining science stream is the biggest mistake of my life." I have a lot of respect for doctors (they save lives) and researchers/scientists (they create vaccines) and engineers (they build KLCC to lure celebs for us to stalk!). But I'm just not a science person. I prefer numbers. Not that I'm really good with numbers, but I've always prefered maths over science.
I guess the subconcious part of me prefers things that I know I'm good at.
Then there's also meeting strangers who say... "Oh... wow, 6As! That's really good!"
And I'm like, "Have you met my parents? All they can think about is that one missing A."
Big fucking deal. They didn't disappoint their parents. They didn't disappoint their family and friends and teachers. Worst of all, they didn't disappoint themselves. (I am so over that missing A, but apparently, my parents' still think I'm stupid for missing that A.)
It's not that my parents are hard to please. It's just that they can NEVER be pleased. I will always be not-good-enough in their eyes. I will always be the problematic child. I will always be their silly and no-IQ daughter.
That's why I don't talk to them. Because it's frustrating. I just want to shake them and say, "WAKE UP AND MEET YOUR REAL DAUGHTER. Snap out of that illusion of the daughter you wish you have."
My days with my parents are spent talking about superficial things. "I ate a very nice mooncake today." "Yes, I will be eating at home." "No, I'm going out." "It rained today."
If they only knew all the things I want to say to them. Inch by inch, they are losing their own child. Just like they lost my brother. Just like they lost my sister. Now they're losing me too. Outside, we're the perfect family. No arguments, no shouting matching, we eat dinner together, we laugh over matters together, we go on holidays together. But are we really together?
I remember beginning of this year when they gave me a hard time because I did tragically for my finals last year. I remember just screaming at them "Did you ever once asked if I truly wanted to join science stream? No, you just shove your ideology in my brain."
I never wanted to be that girl, their perfect daughter. Smart, talented, straight-As, scholarship, doctor. When teachers made us write our goals on paper, I would only write "I want to be happy". Not rich. Not famous. Not smart. Not straight As. Just happy. No matter what I'm doing, no matter how I end up, I want to be happy.
I had enough of being unhappy. I had enough of going out and having so much fun, but at the back of my head I'm thinking "Gotta get home soon or they'll scream at me". You know, I swear, they did not give so much hell to my brother and my sister when they took their SPM. I guess after two screw-ups, they don't want another one. But what's it gotta do with me?
Like last night when my mom gave me shit for having this terrible cough. I was only thinking, "Yeah, who fucking gave me the cough in the first place? I don't recall giving YOU shit when you were coughing your lungs out."
And anyway, it's just a cough. People do not die of coughs. And even if I DO die of cough, my father always said he never wanted a third child.
Quote of the day: "It was right then that I started thinking about Thomas Jefferson on the Declaration of Independence and the part about our right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. And I remember thinking how did he know to put the pursuit part in there? That maybe happiness is something that we can only pursue and maybe we can actually never have it. No matter what. How did he know that?" Christopher Gardner (Will Smith) in the movie The Pursuit of Happyness.
I've been avoiding meeting my dentist for months (maybe years) because... well, she's very ganas on me. And she seems to like injecting me with painkillers (I thought painkillers are supposed to stop pain instead of causing pain?).
But I sense a toothache coming... sigh. Of all times.
Current Trials Stats Update: 5As 3Bs. (Did not fail Bio... awesome!! The remaining Bs are physics and AddMaths.)
Ahhhhh... remember I mentioned my very stressful Literature test...? It seems stress gives me bad grammar. My teacher was like "How come suddenly so many grammar mistakes???"
It also didn't help that I didn't know whether to write in past or present tense.
Lyrics of the day: "Give me therapy... you were never a friend to me... you can choke on your misery..." (Therapy by All Time Low) So gonna buy their album Nothing Personal!!
